On Our Hearts
Put You First December 10 2014
I am all for family time. I adore my family and my Christmas season is filled with so much fun. Since both my husband and I have LARGE blended families it can get pretty hectic. I feel selfish when I start to think about my needs first. In this busy, crazy time of year no one is reminding us to spend as much alone time as we need or go for a quiet walk by ourselves. I shouldn't say no one, I AM! Every year, without fail, I find myself getting sick RIGHT after Christmas. Boxing day hits and I'm in bed. I'm sick, I'm tired, I'm worn out and I'm miserable. It typically takes a good week for me to recover from my people-pleasing-coma all because I struggle to put my NEEDS first.
So what is a need. Food, water, sleep. All great needs that we don't usually have a problem allowing ourselves to have unless you are struggling with one of these. Something that you may need can also be alone time, exercise, space, and quiet. For some reason, EVERY YEAR, I feel like I have to do it all. I have to attend every dinner, play every board game, be part of every conversation BUT all without taking care of my own needs.
I was recently reminded that sometimes we find it easy to understand our needs come first. If you've ever been on an airplane you know the safety speech, "if the cabin loses pressure you must put on your own mask FIRST and then assist others". In this scenario it makes sense for me to follow procedure because of the logic - what good am I to others if my needs are not met? I can recognize that this is true on an airplane and I'm starting to recognize how true this statement is in all areas on my life.
As the holiday season kicks into high gear I'm taking a step back and I'm re-evaluating my needs. I've made a commitment to myself to TRY and put my needs first. To make this happen I've taken the time to identify with some things that help me decompress. This is extremely helpful in helping avoid crashing in front of the TV or "vegging". Make sure you take some time to make a mini-list of your own! Here's some things that I've come up with:
- Reading in a quiet room
- Going for a quick walk
- Enjoying a hot tea
- Have a bath with candles and love lights
Think about where you will be this season and where you find it difficult to be reminded of your needs. My list is made with the mind set that we will be staying with the in-laws for a few days and I'll have space to escape to but not necessarily my home.
Have a very, Merry Christmas and remember to be gentle with yourself this Christmas season.